I'm really into asian looking animals
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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