Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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