We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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