just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
