we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
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I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
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We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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