just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize