On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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