You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
