so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
