It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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