Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
