we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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