Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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