is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
