i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
