Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize