Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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