question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Alive.
So much puke
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
