don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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