people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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