sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
