everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
