i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me