tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once