so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins