it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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