Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
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Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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