Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
