i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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