Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
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Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
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Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I came so hard my ears popped.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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