Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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