You're my little dorito
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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