I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
