One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize