She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
