I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
