One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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