eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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