I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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