Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
