I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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