brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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