I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
