on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
