It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
how does that bad decision feel?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
