mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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