yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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