Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
