could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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