i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast