Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"

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(978): why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm" http://tfl.nu/ynyp

Replies (64) Good night (6628) Bad night (966)
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(906): View more from Michigan

nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life

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(906): nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life http://tfl.nu/phhm

Replies (7) Good night (4072) Bad night (1504)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.

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(248): Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it. http://tfl.nu/o1jt

Replies (8) Good night (4126) Bad night (1312)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops

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(605): The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops http://tfl.nu/xgyz

Replies (10) Good night (3879) Bad night (859)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?

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(724): This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class? http://tfl.nu/x3em

Replies (12) Good night (3787) Bad night (1167)
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(631): View more from New York

I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.

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(631): I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion. http://tfl.nu/lz1m

Replies (6) Good night (1480) Bad night (848)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon

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(715): yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon http://tfl.nu/62g9

Replies (7) Good night (692) Bad night (1398)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.

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(216): I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right. http://tfl.nu/rt33

Replies (4) Good night (1176) Bad night (480)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me

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(306): I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me http://tfl.nu/ybnl

Replies (3) Good night (341) Bad night (803)
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(727): View more from Florida

How did you get him out of the shower last time?

(1-727): View more from Florida

Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.

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(727): How did you get him out of the shower last time? (1-727): Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed. http://tfl.nu/m3jy

Replies (0) Good night (893) Bad night (304)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?

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(860): nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud? http://tfl.nu/etdo

Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (373)
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(585): View more from New York

we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.

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(585): we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia. http://tfl.nu/scs1

Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (316)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.

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(586): Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever. http://tfl.nu/pbak

Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (599)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich

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(309): Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich http://tfl.nu/oepv

Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (241)
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(424): View more from California

Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?

(310): View more from California

"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."

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(424): Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth? (310): "Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants." http://tfl.nu/ausk

Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (203)

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