Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."