just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
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Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?