I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize