i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize