i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize