I want to walk on stilts...naked
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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