so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
