Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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