hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
