I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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