what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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