I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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