Your dad touched me again.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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