The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
