man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
