Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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