i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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